


Name Weighing

by harrypotteristherapy, PenguinLoki



Series: Agápe verse [2]
Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: M/M, OT3, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-09-10
Packaged: 2018-02-16 22:17:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2286399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrypotteristherapy/pseuds/harrypotteristherapy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PenguinLoki/pseuds/PenguinLoki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some names carry more weight than others. Or: three idiots pick out baby names.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Name Weighing

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: We don't even own a life size cardboard cutout of Howard Charles... Yet.
> 
> Notes: This fic is about 98% dialogue, which means any mistakes or stupidity is 98% PenguinLoki's fault. Also! We are on Tumblr, for those of you interested in following us around, online or otherwise. Harrypotteristherapy is Knitink while PenguinLoki is... penguinloki.

“I’m home!” Aramis yelled out as he entered their soon-to-be too small house. “Alex and I had a great chat and--” Aramis cut himself off as he noticed his fiancés sprawled out in their living room, completely surrounded by parenting books.

“We may have gone a little overboard,” Athos admitted dryly.

"How's Alex doing?" Porthos asked as he looked up from the book in his hands.

"The ultrasound went well, so she's relieved. It doesn't look like the baby has two heads or a tail."

"I think I'm being mocked," Athos said without bothering to even glance at them.

"You did wake up in the middle of the night to yell "lizard baby!" before falling back to sleep." Porthos pointed out. "We were thrilled that you said it was a nightmare and not your way of tellin' us about a new fetish."

“As fascinating as Athos’s strange and repressed fetishes are, I’m afraid I’m going to have to change the subject.” They both turned to look at him expectantly, though Athos spared a moment to send a glare in Porthos' direction. “It’s a girl.”

Silence.

“Are we sure we’re qualified for this?” Athos asked breaking the silence and sounding vaguely concerned.  

“We’re gonna have a girl version of Aramis,” Porthos said solemnly. “The world isn’t qualified for this.”

"She might have enough of Alex to be less... Aramis-y."

“You’re both hilarious, really.” He flopped down on the couch next to Porthos and looked over his shoulder at the book he was absently flipping through. A chapter about names caught his eye and he hauled himself upright to address them both.

“Alex and I discussed a first name already, though if you two hate it we can talk about something else.” He fidgeted nervously, seemingly self conscious for possibly the first time in his life.

"Angelica," he finally said, smiling at the name. "She'll be our little angel."

"It's adorable how you think that any child you create will be angelic," Athos said dryly without looking up.

"I think it's a great name, Fuckface." Porthos said grinning, eyes bright.

Athos looked up from the parenting book he had been reading, "You are going to have to come up with a new pet name for him once Angelica is here," he pointed out to Porthos.

Aramis froze in the middle of sorting books and boxes around into less chaotic piles. "This is real. This is actually happening.”

He leaned heavily into Porthos who shot him an odd look. “We’re actually doing this. Making plans about a person we’re going to… to raise.”

“Weren’t you _just_ at the ultrasound?” Porthos asked, eyebrow raised. “How is this only sinking in now?”

“It still seemed so abstract!” he explained, his voice started to edge on hysterical. “It was just some picture of something that mostly looked like a bean and now Athos is saying her name and lecturing us on behavior and--”

Athos sighed, “Oh _now_ you notice when I lecture you. If only that had worked in college…”

“If we’d listened to you in college we wouldn’t've been _friends_ , you antisocial bastard,” Porthos pointed out. “Aramis, breathe dammit.”

Aramis obediently took a deep breath, though he glared while doing so. Athos sighed and tossed them each a book. Porthos caught it without thinking while the book directed at Aramis hit him in the gut causing Aramis to shoot a glare at Athos as he continued deep breathing.

“If you’re done with your tantrum, we can look at baby names.” Athos said calmly. Aramis muttered something darkly in Spanish, but opened the book regardless.

Which was how they found themselves sitting around reading lists and lists of possible names for their unborn daughter. Aramis was looking through one of the baby books that Athos and Porthos had bought. More often than not he was scowling at it and on occasion muttered something in Spanish regarding his thoughts on some of the names he clearly didn’t care for.  Which seemed to be most of them.

“Regine?” Athos suggested. “It means queen, and I can already see her ruling over us.”

“That’s the name of the evil witch on--” Aramis cut himself off at Athos’ look of disinterest. “I mean. No. I don’t like that name.”

“Matilde!” Porthos declared a few minutes later. “Mighty in battle.”

“Porthos. You are not naming our daughter something that hideous sounding.”

“But it’s--”

“No. End of discussion.” Porthos knocked his arm into where Aramis was still leaning on him in retaliation, and began searching for another fitting name.

“Estelle?” Aramis suggested a few minutes later. “It means star.”

“That’s nice soundin',” Porthos agreed.

“You want to name the kid ‘Angel Star’?” Athos snorted.

“What’s wrong with that?” Porthos asked.

“You suggested Matilde and therefore don’t get an opinion.” Athos said in a monotone that made Aramis snicker.

"Why does it have to be a French name anyway?" Porthos asked, closing out of another tab with more force than strictly necessary.

"Her first name is Spanish and she will look like you," Athos said calmly. "I get the middle name. Lucille," he added.

“As in the feminine form of Lucifer?" Aramis sounded horrified at the thought. "No.”

“It means ‘little light’. She could be a light from angels.”

The glare Aramis sent him would have sent a lesser man cowering. As it was, Athos had invented _and_ taught Aramis that look, and simply raised an eyebrow.

“Not gonna win this one, Athos.” Porthos snickered and clicked another link. “Nicolette?”

“That’s gorgeous,” Aramis said, slightly in awe. “What’s it mean?”

“Victor of the people.”

“I love it,” Aramis said, leaning closer to read the name on the screen as if that would make it seem more real.

“Angelica Nicolette… Dumas?” Athos asked.

Aramis shook his head. “Alex said she doesn’t… Angelica won’t be a Dumas.”

“Angelica Nicolette d’Herblay sounds better anyway." Porthos said and rested his arm across Aramis’s shoulders.

“You two are just as much her fathers as I am,” Aramis said, sounding almost frustrated. “It shouldn’t just be my name.”

“Aramis,” Athos said very seriously. “I love you. I will love that little girl until I die. And because I want her to know she is loved, I’m refusing to let her give her three last names. She will never learn to spell it and will resent us.”

“d’Herblay it is!” Porthos agreed. “Athos can have the next one.”

“There will be no next one, or Aramis is going to have some parts snipped.”

“Why are we assuming it’s going to be my fault?”

“Athos is too antisocial to make more friends let alone convince someone to sleep with him--”

“I think I’m being mocked again.”

“Stop interruptin' me.”

“Stop insulting me.”

“Oh dear God, we’re going to be _parents_ ,” Aramis moaned as he covered his face in despair. 

 

**Outtake (green for the penguin, blue for the HP):**

** **


End file.
